What Makes For a Lasting Marriage? Gratitude. Keep a Finger on the Pulse of Your Persons’ Emotions

weddingWe all want to have a happy marriage, one that lasts, that endures through the good and the bad, sickness and health, times of plenty and times of hardship. So what is the key to a long and happy marriage?

In the study, “Linking financial distress to marital quality: The intermediary roles of demand/withdraw and spousal gratitude expressions” a few key points become clear.

  • Demanding things, change, and/or withdrawing your love and affection is a negative conflict pattern that harms your marriage.
  • Feeling appreciated and believing that your spouse values you directly influences how you feel about your marriage for the better.
  • Financial distress is a big cause of marital problems
  • Gratitude, saying thank-you has a powerful protective effect that can overcome most negatives in a marriage.

You can read this study here…

I am one of the luckiest men on earth when it comes to marriage. My wife Maiya adores me, she appreciates me, she is always expressing gratitude for our relationship, for me, for things I may do, for what we have as a couple. I feel the same about her. She reminds me how those times when I check on her emotional well-being are so important. I haven’t always done well with complements, they make me nervous. Something for me to work on. Once, after she was showing gratitude when I was genuinely concerned and she felt the love, I responded, “I keep my finger on the pulse of your emotions“. We’ve used that sentiment often.

Be grateful, not just for things done for you, but just for being together. This gets to the heart of the unconditional love that is the glue. I love being with you. Thank-you for holding my hand. Thank-you for loving me. Thank-you for sharing this life journey with me.

Parents- this works for kids too. Show them love and gratitude just for being in your life… and watch them light up!


Dr. Paul


One comment

  • Jille H.

    What a sweet post! My sweetie and I just celebrated our thirty year anniversary. Your words ring very true. I’m very grateful for our relationship and the love that is showered in our house between us and our six super, fantastic young people!

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