Book “Spiritual Partnership- The Journey to Aauthentic Power” by Gary Zukav
Gary points out that the old kind of power (manipulation and control) now produces violence and destruction, and while necessary for our ancestors to survive, it is being replaced by a new kind of power, authentic power (something we need to be healthy, nurturing, and whole). Spiritual growth is as necessary for us as sunshine is for plants, and we are each responsible for our own growth in this area. He points out that isolation is counterproductive, and we need harmony, cooperation, sharing and reverence for life to grow spiritually, a partnership with others leading to fulfillment, meaning, purpose, love, and joy leading to wisdom, compassion, purpose and an existence that is not only physical but connects us with everyone, everything, and eternity.
OK, now that was deep, and I recommend that you read and study the book for better understanding. I do want to share the concepts from chapter 6, “learning to coach”. You are playing a game called life. You are the coach of your team as everyone else is the coach of their team. You can choose the player you play at any given moment to represent you, and only one player plays at a time. Your responsibility is to choose the player you will play at every moment and put on your court. He points out that only you can choose. You can study and confer with others about who to play but the choice of who to play and the consequences of that choice are yours. If you play anger, you get to experience the consequences of that play. If you pay kindness, you reap the consequences of that choice.
The more observant you are about the consequences of playing various players, the more control you have over the outcomes of each play. If you are not paying attention, sometimes a player you thought you were playing will be bumped off your court by a more aggressive player like anger. When I am teaching about alternative medicine principles and someone plays the angry antagonist who tells me my information is bogus, wrong, and proven invalid, I must be careful or a can have my happy teacher/doctor player knocked off by a defensive and angry player. With attention, I can learn to tell my defensive, angry, hurt player that he is not going to play today. I stick with playing kindness, patience, gratitude, or appreciation.
He points out that players who create destructive and painful consequences and refuse to be sidelined until you become aware of them and sideline them, are the frightened parts of our personality. All of them “anger, jealously, rage, vengefulness, anxiety, fear, feelings of superiority and inferiority, the need to please others, shout louder, shop for what you need, eat what you don’t need, smoke, gamble, watch pornography, drink alcohol, abuse drugs, and on and on – originates in fear”. These players have fear, painful to experience, and self-destruction as their consequences. These are the parts of our personality we need to heal for spiritual growth. When we see them as opportunities to learn how best to coach our own life, we get spiritual growth and start playing the players that feel good, like patience, caring, joyful, content, kindness, interested in others, and grateful. Eventually we lose fear altogether and become fully engaged in the present moment.
There is a beautiful description of joy vs. happiness. Just as “opening the shutters or blinds or pulling back the curtains allows light into a dark room”, so “is this journey from grief to acceptance, ignorance to knowledge, doubt to trust and fear to love” the “transformation that occurs when obstructions to joy are removed”. Joy is described as permanent and depends on what is happening inside you, while happiness is temporary and depends on what is happening outside you. Joy is that choice to remove the obstructions to it. Notice the player you are playing.
We are encouraged to replace fear with humility, clarity, forgiveness, and love. We are encouraged to choose cooperation instead of competition and a reverence for life instead of exploitation. The bulk of the book guides you on how to transform from an “unexamined, unconscious, reactive life into an aware, deliberate, and joyful life”. This is done through spiritual partnerships with our spouses, children, and other individuals on the same journey. This takes commitment, courage, compassion, and conscious communication.
This book is a guide for our times. The coach approach can be used to help children and adults gain control of parts of their lives that seem out of control.
You can find this great book here…